The Disneyland Story

Monday, March 9, 2009

So, I spent about an hour writing a really long blog entry, filled with complaints and observations about my trip to Disneyland this last weekend... and by the time I tried to save it, my blogging software had timed out and I lost it all. Of course, this gives me the opportunity to start again and write something less scathing and MUCH shorter, instead focusing on the positive. But really, is that likely? Me? Positive?

The Brand
If there is just one thing I could complain about regarding today's Disneyland, it's the branding. The incessant, in-your-face, EVERYWHERE branding. I mean, you're in DISNEYland, right? So why do they feel it is necessary to continue to brand every little thing within the park with the Disney logo? I can't help but wonder if Walt Disney, who famously went ballistic upon seeing non-Frontier vehicles and employees in Frontierland, would sanction the appearance of the Disney logo all over things in the old west, or emblazoned on signs in Fantasyland.

My lost post also went on at length about the inclusion of Disney film characters into rides where they previously did not exist; along with the ubiquitous gift shop at the exit of said rides; as well as the insane focus everywhere on pirates and princesses — even to the extent of jarring shifts in theming such as on the Rivers of America where one encounters, in rapid succession, Pirates on the Mississippi and then Indians (who, instead of setting fire to a settler's cabin now gather to hear a politically correct lecture on musical instruments from a shaman). I went on and on, but I now realize that plenty of other outlets are complaining about the same thing so I'll jettison that complaint now.

Meta Disneyland
Disneyland itself has become so self-referential that its mere existence is an attraction in its own right. The trivia about the park that I once reveled in is now referenced everywhere; it is sort of difficult to enter that world inside the berm and immerse one's self in the fantasy because it is constantly interrupted by self-reference.

Hell is other people
Lots of little things annoyed me at the park, from the shops that all stock the same things and no longer fit a theme to the high price and low nutrition of the food. But one thing stands out above it all: the crowds. As the weekend progressed, the crowds grew to uncomfortable then oppressive size, bringing with them lethal numbers of strollers and scooters. On Friday we could walk right onto rides, Saturday the lines were 20-30 minutes, and by Sunday the lines were so long that Fastpass return times were up to 5 hours later.

I actually enjoyed the vast majority of the children, waving and talking to them; it was the adults who bothered me. The parents who forced kids to overstay (even when the kids were wise enough to tell mom that they were tired and wanted to leave); the scary trashy people who used the F word liberally and needed some training in living in civilization; and, mostly, the gaggles of high school girls who formed large groups, stopped in the middle of pathways to text each other and screamed at everything up to and including a Goofy sighting.

But did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
I loved it, warts and all, especially The Haunted Mansion and California Screaming. My favorite attraction started out amazing, became dated and kitschy, and ended up retro and revered: thank you, Disneyland, for keeping the Enchanted Tiki Room intact and resisting the urge to "update" it with characters or hip hop (see Walt Disney World). Thanks to Jose, Michael, Fritz and Pierre I can't walk down a street now without expecting the flowers to sing to me.

Which just goes to show, Disneyland still has the ability to make an adult feel like a kid despite its many modern corporate flaws.

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