Camp Star Trails
June 21, 2004

After doing this morning’s laundry, making breakfast (we had eggs, bacon and toast…nothing too glamourous today!), cleaning the kitchen, packing the car for the kids and myself (that included interesting things to do while driving…like playing this fun game with letters and descriptions and the kids have to name, for example, something that starts with the letter “R” that is electronic…and, of course, getting everyone their own notebook and markers for drawing fun), we headed on down the road to Camp Star Trails…

Located outside of Burton, Texas, it is a camp for kids with cancer, or siblings of children with cancer. Horseback riding, canoeing, arts and crafts, fishing, a petting zoo (they even had a skunk named PEPPY NO P.U.!), and a terrific series of interlaced pools (with a giant hot tub). I sang twice today…first, for 180 kids and their counselors, then, again, later in the day for a select group of 40 campers.

Ok, let’s talk about love. First of all, the counselors are fantastic. They are attentive, loving, young adults who are volunteering time to help children who are battling so much at such an early age. The attitude the counselors bring was just glorious….teaching dance classes, riding bikes around the nature trails with the kids, helping kids in wheelchairs access wherever they want to be on the site…

The grounds were splendid. Rocking chairs on an expansive front porch, cabins each decorated with the group names the kids come up with when they first arrive, meticulous landscaped flowerbeds and sidewalks swept clean…a treehouse high above a gentle creek (also wheelchair accessible)…36 horses, taken care of by a very nice cowboy named Justin ( a REAL cowboy, to boot!)
in clean stalls with treats available on a moments notice to give to Spot (a blind horse) or Blade (a ghostly all white horse) or Raisin (a spotted horse)…

During the performances, I just wanted to love love love every child in that room. I wanted them to know they were unique and unparallel in the history of the world…that they are beautiful souls I was delighted to spend the afternoon with…I saw children of every color and size and laughter and felt the healing presence of hope, love and joy in the laughter, stories and song we shared.

My kids (and nephew) were adorable, too…they sat in during my first performance and Lily sang along, looking up into my face, joining me in the lyrics, while we all sang “Look at Me”…a “pirate” named Nate joined in on “iolana”, dancing and shaking his booty to the glee of every camper there…
We all held one another close as we sang “I Wish You Well” on behalf of children around the globe…wishing them love, wishing them peace, wishing them hope, wishing them all we can. Oh, that the world could be that room of love!

My kids made art, they swam, they ate pizza, they fed the horses…we drove in a golf cart, chauffered around the camp by my lifelong friend, Charlotte, whom I have known since I was six years old. Her mom, her two sisters, and Charlotte’s own teenage children all volunteer at the camp. It is such a testimony to their family what they have given over so many years. What a great thing for a family to do…volunteer together!

Tomorrow is io’s 4th birthday…we will continue to celebrate the joy with gratitude and putt-putt golf!

posted by Sara Hickman at 11:12 pm
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By the Way
June 20, 2004

First, read the entry before this one. I go on a rant! Whoo! Please read about Lindsey. It is much more important than this entry. Go on. Go read that one and then you can come back and read this one. It will just take you a second. I’ll wait here for you, promise…!

Dum..dum….da..dum dum…THIS IS YOUR HOLD MUSIC WHILE YOU READ THE OTHER ENTRY….hmmm…la ti la…dum dee dum…

WELCOME BACK! (Did you read that other entry? if you didn’t, GO READ IT NOW. No cheating, people!)

And, now, another entry:

Ok, I want to clarify I am NOT getting paid to do “Gimme the Mic”. I do not keep the clothes I am wearing. I do not get free SBC phone service or HEB food. I’m just doing it because…well, because my friend, Sammy Papert, had a friend at KVUE and they thought it sounded like something I’d be fair minded about (because they wanted judges who are in music but who would be nice.)

Also, they are spelling the title of the show “Gimme the MIKE” because they thought the public would ask, “What is a MICK?” (pronounciation for “mic”)

I’d just like to say that is ridiculous. First thing I asked when I sat at the judges desk was, “Why is “Mic” spelled wrong?” and that is the answer I got. That the
creators of the show didn’t want to confuse the public. Can you hear me rolling my eyes?

We taped the first two shows yesterday…We, the judges, only have about
twenty seconds each to respond, and it is awkward because I want to be able to say, (for example), “Your stage presence feels shy, so I’d concentrate on what makes you unique and really push that direction. Your voice has a really interesting timbre; when you sang those low notes…wow! Excellent…” But the feedback I get from the producers of the show is, “Ok, less…tighten it up!” So it is turning into, “Good job! I gave you a 7!”

TV is bizarre. It has turned our country into a land of goobers. I don’t want to be part of the goober factory. Today, I’m going to try to push the envelope to the best of my ability with each person. I want them to leave with some feedback they can use…although, there seems to be some consensus that no one wants to hear the truth…they all just expect to win (natural, of course)…
BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHAT IS NOT NATURAL!

That everything has a sponsor connected to it…From the bases at a baseball game to helicopters in the sky to tee-shirts to buses driving down the street…
There is no peace for the weary mind!

This is not natural, either: that people who make music are either “FAMOUS” or “MAKING A COMEBACK” or “HISTORY”. I think that is weird, wierd , wierd…(I can’t make up my mind on how to spell ” weird”).

For example, all these contestants have a fantasy that if they win, and when they win and make their demo tape, they will go on to be the next Mariah Carey or Smashmouth or Faith Hill…but what if they just have the opportunities to make music and make a living, like me or Slaid Cleves or Barbara K or Colin Boyd or Brave Combo? Isn’t that success? Getting to do what you love and making a living out of it? What is it about “fame” that is such a drug? Do you think Prince wasn’t making music the whole time he was out of the headlines?
No. Do you think John Travolta wasn’t acting when he wasn’t riding on one of his “comebacks”? No. People who make music and act and dance and write poetry are doing it because they CAN’T HELP BUT CREATE. And we make livings doing what we love because that is what happens! So, creating is happening whether you hear about it or not…all around us, all the time.

Whether someone is “famous” or not has nothing to do with it. Is it challenging? Intersting? Inspiring? Touching? Funny? Whimsical?

And we are ALL capable of creating! Every single cotton pickin’ one of us! I don’t want to get an email from someone saying, “I can’t draw a straight line unless I use a ruler!” THROW THE RULER AWAY for awhile. If you want to draw a straight line, PRACTICE. Otherwise, enjoy the line that comes from your brain through your hand onto the paper. Wow! It is YOUR LINE. It is not RIGHT or WRONG. It is all good because you MADE IT YOURSELF!

Next time you need a birthday card for someone, MAKE ONE. You can do it!
Next time you feel like singing a song, just because you feel like it, DO IT!
Next time you want to call someone just to say, “I was thinking of you!” DO IT!
You don’t need a reason or an appropriate time…Good God! Just do it because you can!

THIS IS IT! As the saying goes:

If you can talk, you can sing!
If you can walk, you can dance!

And you don’t have to be trained to sing, and you don’t have to have legs to dance.

Ok, I will stop for now.
Wait. No, I won’t. I have one more thing to say.

FAMILY

I received an email from someone who wants to know about my family history because they said they appreciated how much family means to me. They wanted to know what kind of household I grew up in.

I will tell you.

In my next post. But, now I must stop and think about the day.
Thank you for reading this far. If you are still with me, here is an internet hug. If you gave up after the first paragraph and went on to google something else, here’s a hug, too. Hugs for all, I say!

And don’t forget to hug the chihuahua! (WHAT?! Diego knows!)

posted by Sara Hickman at 11:17 am
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Questions, Questions
June 19, 2004

A young woman, perhaps 18, shows up on my doorstep today with a heavy backpack, sweet smile, and ponytails. We start talking, and I ask her what she is selling. She says books. I say, “Oh, yes, I bought some last year. Are you selling them to help with your college tuition?” She says, “Yes!” I tell her they are beautiful books, but since I already bought the entire set last year for my kids, I don’t need anymore.

I sense that she is tired. I ask her if she would like something to drink, to come inside and cool off. Her name is Lindsey.

Once inside, I ask her more about this summer job, walking neighborhoods, selling books. I ask her how she gets around, how long are her hours? You will not believe this…

She is from Indiana. She is here in Austin, staying with a host family (!), working 13 1/2 hours EACH DAY, MONDAY-SATURDAY, with only Sundays off!!!
She rides a bike around, carrying a map, going door to door, selling. I ask her if she has a cell phone? No. I ask her does anyone know where she is while she is out? No. I ask her, “What happens if you are in trouble, or need help?” She just smiles. I feel the motherly panic in my chest.

I gently inquire about siblings, parents. Does she miss them? From her quiet smile, and mumbling, I gather things are hard back home. She is only allowed to speak with her mom once a week, on Sunday nights, but since her mother works on Sunday nights, she hasn’t had a chance to talk to her in the month she has been in Austin. The lump in my throat is growing. She has 7 1/2 weeks of working left.

I write my name and number on a piece of paper. I ask her to call me, for any reason, at any time, and I will help her, if she should find herself in need. She thanks me, and says she is glad to know of my offer, tucking the paper in her pink fanny pack.

Later that evening, hours after she has left, as my husband and I are reading bedtime stories to the girls (and our visiting nephew), I think I hear a knock at the front door. I excuse myself, and find Lindsey behind the glass. She needs to meet her ride back to the host house by 9:45, up a hill and at a local school: Lance puts her bike in our station wagon and takes her to the location.

I’m reading with the kids, and as we finish…we have a big, group hug. I look at my children and want to keep them safe. I want them to know that if they ever needed help there would be someone to offer a phone number, a cool glass of water, a safety net.

I get so disappointed, and angry, seeing how values have changed in our world.
I get disappointed in myself for the times I have let others down, whether on stage or in my personal life. Every day I make time to pray for the chance to be a better person, to see a need and fulfill it, to pick up that piece of errant trash at the park and walk to the garbage can and leave it in it’s proper place…

I think of that commercial from so long ago…The beautiful Indian sitting on his painted pony…looking out over the landscape of this amazing country…and the tear falling, slowly, down his proud cheek.

As they shot that commercial, I bet the director didn’t even need to ask for the man to cry. I bet that man felt it in his soul: the passing of care into greed, the passing of clouds into pollution, the passing of children’s laughter into gun shots.

How can a company send young teenagers out into the streets of an unknown city? (Get ready: I’m about to rant!)

How can a city allow children to be exploited by drugs, sex and abuse?
How is it the people who make up a city aren’t marching to their city council and saying, “ENOUGH!” Why is it weird to care and not wierd to be careless? Why can the grocery sacker at a store ask me, “Dude…plastic or paper?” and not think he sounds rude? How is John Kerry any different from George Bush?
Show me. Talk to me. Use your passion. Show me you care. Speak to me from your heart.

J. Allen Hansley, the wonderful photographer from Dallas, recently fell to the ground, stranded, from either a seizure or an annuerism (spelling?)…Did anyone stop to help? No, people walked AROUND him. WHAT?!

Richard Troxell just took a group of protesters (homeless people, themselves!) to speak out in front of a Wal-Mart (Target?) against the “Homeless Bashing” video. The head of the company phoned to say, “Ok, we’ll take it out of the stores.” YES!! But…

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THIS WORLD??? Who the heck would WANT that video…who the heck got away with TAPING IT…and who the heck would say, “Oh, sure, I’ll make duplications for you!” AND WHY would any distributor say, “Great! We’ll stock it for you in national chains!”

Has the world gone INSANE? Look, there may be times someone thinks, “Oh, whatever…it’s just one gum wrapper…” Well, I want you to know I’ll be the one picking up your damn wrapper. And I’m not alone. I realize that trash has to go somewhere…not just in a trash can…but from the trash can to a trash dump…then where does all that go? Into a mound under the ground…and that creates run off into our water sources…and who drinks the water? We do.
Our children do. So, maybe having the trash above ground isn’t that big of a deal. Here’s the deal: Give me a politician who WANTS THE WORLD TO BE RUN IN AN HONEST, ENVIRONMENTALLY ADVANCED BIG PICTURE LONG TERM GOALS WAY. (Al Gore was waaaaay ahead of his time. Sorry, Al. It totally sucks what happened to you. Totally.)

Then, and this is just one example of our carelessness, we wonder why people get sick. Why they end up in hospitals. And when they are sick, they can’t work. But why would they want to work? They are working for $5.15 an hour, 13 1/2
hours a day, never seeing their children, barely making ends meet, living in
housing with no air conditioning. Neighborhoods with no pride, with bullets whizzing, coked up neighbors. Or, maybe they work hard and live in neighborhoods where doors stay closed, and no one knows each others names because their kids are sitting in front of a t.v. all day, buying into the system of “I WANT THAT!” and “I NEED THAT!”…where no one is talking WITHIN the home because they are not challeged to think and process and communicate.

So, we get sick. And then we have no way to pay for the doctor, the hospital.
Those who can pay taxes, we pay for that coverage. But we also pay for the schools, the roads, the politicians who have retired and are drawing ridiculous pensions.

And, here comes a girl on my front porch who wants to go to college to become a French teacher and I just want her to be safe and have a job that doesn’t have her covered in sunburn and mosquito bites.

What do I do? I do what I did. And you do your part, and you speak out and you move mountains by starting the avalanche.

Go, team, go! SPEAK OUT. Do not be afraid! Look at what we’ve got to lose…

posted by Sara Hickman at 11:02 pm
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More From Life
June 16, 2004

Last night I went and had a chocolate body scrub thanks to KVUE and Halina’s Day Spa. I’m doing a show with KVUE called “Gimme the Mic!” that is akin to “American Idol”, except it is local Austin talent and I was told I could just be my cheery, supportive self as one of the judges (i.e., don’t be mean to the contestants.) The other two judges are going to be Mark Murray, a laid back weatherman for KVUE who loves music, and Danny Levin, a true maestro who has been a part of almost all the great music out of Austin. I think we will have a blast because I’m honored to say they are both my friends, and we will be
enjoying people giving their all while we give them supportive feedback.

So, how did I get the chocolate body scrub? Well, the show has sponsors…part of what the sponsors do is strut their stuff with me enjoying it! Fun job! I also got to go pick out clothes to wear on the show from the Garden Room, a suh-weet clothing store over near the original Kirbey Lane restaurant. “Gimme the Mic” will show clips from my massage and clothing run during the shows. They will be aired starting in June…

I found out that “Food 911”, the show I taped with Tyler Florence, chef extraordinaire, will be airing on Sept 21…Can’t wait to see it…we had a MAD HATTER Tea Party.

Went to dinner after the scrub last night with my old pal, Marty, who said he has never been to my blog, so I figured I better write about what a genius he is before he gets here! (And, really! He is a genius, as you know if you have heard the music for “Pillowman!” ) Actually, he had a HILARIOUS idea for a short film last night, so that is my new project…to create a short film with Marty (and, of course, see if Gene will edit). I would tell you about it but then you would know about it and then why bother making it because the joke would be over. It is going to be a mockumentary. That is all I can divulge at this moment.

I have a library gig today…those are really fun.

This is a lame entry because I don’t have a lot of time to really submit anything intriguing or fun. But I always find myself wanting to write in here…gosh! It is such a magnet for my mind, to have a place to write!

So, I’ll just say that this is what is up:

I won’t be doing Austin City Limits Festival this year because I have chosen to be with family for a wedding in Arkansas. I was excited to be invited back for ACL, and I’ll miss the joy of that festival, but nothing can compare to being with my family. I love all my cousins and aunts and uncles and watching my kids play with THEIR cousins…I can not describe the bliss of watching life unfold like this. And it’s a wedding! Come on! The start of a new journey for two people coming together…You know I’ll have a box of Kleenex RIGHT THERE next to me the whole time!!!

Speaking of family, we are off to Houston to pick up my nephew from the airport, and we are thrilled he is coming to visit (from Colorado).

My cats are ready for their summer shaving. Texas is hot AND humid right now.

io wants to join Cirque du Soliel. That is all she talks about. She can balance like no body’s business on a cylindrical object.

Lily has started a comic book that floors me. Her talent is advanced, comical, insightful and truly one of a kind.

Lance is working hard and enjoying being in the world of big people again.

I am in love with my husband and girls. What more could a 41 year old woman ask for.

posted by Sara Hickman at 12:36 pm
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Wednesday
June 09, 2004

iolana says:

Today…today it has been raining…and there has been a flood. And it looks like it is still raining, right now!

We walked in our galoshes with Nana in the rain. I rode my bike. It is pink.
I rode FAST.

My lips were blue this morning. The pool was SO COLD. Because swim class…I went to swim. Nana dried me off with a towel. (NOTE: Here io is gnashing her teeth to show me how cold it was.)

I am wearing my hat backwards so I can go to putt-putt. Putt Putt Peter Pan!
There’s gonna be a party!!! A pirate party!

Yesterday, mom and I danced in the rain! We were laughing! We were wet!
I danced like a noodle!

Dad and Lily. What do they do? He got in the rain when he was back home.
Lily got with her dad and they are going out, I mean, they are driving. And then…they are gonna get out…and then they are going to RUN towards the door!

A song: Rain, rain go away
Come and go another day
Ring around the rosie…pocket full of posies
We all fall down…!

Ta-ta-ta-ta! DA DA DA DA DA!

ALL FALL DOWNNNNNN!!!

posted by Sara Hickman at 06:34 pm
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