Angel Kisses
August 25, 2004
Donna, the owner of Angelface, guided me to a small, dark room with wood paneling. I laid back in the soft, warm sheets and yawned. Everything smelled like flowers, but not a sickly-sweet Avon over-the-top sort of scent: a real, walking in a blooming summer garden sort of scent. All that was missing was a breeze and the hum of bees.
Donna started to put stuff on my face, alternately steaming, cleaning, massaging, cleaning, steaming. I was falling deeper and deeper into a state of relaxation, and, finally, snoozed away.
In the midst of this sleep, I had a dream. In the dream, a glowing angel was hovering over me, and seemed to be larger than a normal person. The kindess the angel exuded was extraordinary, and it made me feel very liberated.
As I was smiling back towards the angel, this being leaned over and sort of
kissed me, but it was more of a pulling motion. I can’t really describe it except to say I felt the breath pulled from my body. It wasn’t scary. Again, it was very
freeing…very gentle and loving.
As this was happening, I realized there were angels all over the room, standing shoulder to shoulder, and, yet, it didn’t feel crowded. From my angle, laying on the bed, it seemed as if I was floating among them.
Just as I was understanding that the room was full of light and angels, I heard Donna saying she was finished, and that I could take my time in getting up.
In my groggy state, I think I mumbled, and then awoke from my dream.
I stood up slowly, laying my fingers on my skin, feeling how soft and smooth my face had become. I was ambling out to the front desk, pulling out my wallet, as Donna asked me how I was feeling.
“Oh, that was awesome!” I said.
She nodded. Then, while writing up the total, she quietly asked if she could share what her experience had been.
She told me that as I was laying on the table and she was cleaning my face, she had witnessed many angels entering the room. There was one angel in particular who approached me as I slept, leaned over, and seemed to kiss me on the mouth.
I was stunned. I was looking into her eyes, and I told her, “Yes, yes! I saw them, too!”
And she told me that those angels are with me all the time, wherever I go.
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t comprehend how she had seen what I had seen!
It was one of those experiences someon else has…and, yet, it had happened to me.
I felt so enegized the rest of the day. I wanted to see my friends, again. I wanted to be able to thank them, or reach out and hold their hands. It was as if I might catch them out of the corner of my eye, if just for a second, the feeling was so strong. Their presence made me want to fly with complete abandon—-tumbling through the sky, laughing…complete, utter happiness, inside and out.
posted by Sara Hickman at 09:37 pm
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A Buoyant Beluga Birthday
August 18, 2004
These are some of the things we learned during Lily’s training period before she entered the 50 degree water at Sea World on Sunday. Sporting a full body wet suit and protective booties, Lily slipped into the salty, chilly water at noon and was introduced to Tina, a graceful 3000 pound beluga. (The other beluga in the tank was named Whisper! I love that. Whisper. I think I want to have a band called “Whisper”. And I want to change my name to Josephine. Josephine Whisper! But you can call me “Scamp”, like they did on the Nanci Griffith
tour.)
Lily was the only child at the whale interaction. All the other folks were adults, including the trainers. That was inspiring in itself, watching as Lily gently responded to the whale, the trainer’s commands followed to the tee. The funniest part was when Lily placed her finger near the beluga’s blow hole (per instructions, mind you) and the whale let out a very loud flatulance sound.
A kid friendly whale! There was a lot of hands on interaction and explanation on how the fluke/fins work as fingers ran across the rubbery skin. Towards the end of their time together, Lily also learned a last hand sign (from her heart to the top of the water)—-Tina turned, dove down, with only the top of her tail extended, and splashed all of the trainees full face. Lily was laughing, shaking her head, salty water everywhere. She is such a good sport because that water was c-c-c-cold! We got some beautiful pix.
Thanks to Andy and Sara Ridinger for a lifetime of memories for Lily and our family. It was their birthday gift to Lily, and we will never forget the kindness.
posted by Sara Hickman at 04:52 pm
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Rick Perry & Double Taxes
August 12, 2004
How is it that greed is so out of check? How is it that there are millions of us and, yet, only a few who can decide how our money is used, abused and pocketed off of our backs? I am really, really, really, really sick and tired of it. I am sick and tired of playing at benefits where twelve people show up. Or I am sick of performing at benefits and watching passionate volunteers give their all while others moan and groan about the weight of it all and how nothing can really change. Bullshit. It takes A VILLAGE. It takes ALL OF US rising up with our votes and our voices and we need to HELP ONE ANOTHER RIGHT NOW. There is no tomorrow. RIGHT NOW. Do something. Right this second, damn it!
Here are the good folks who voted AGAINST the double tax/toll road:
Daryl Slusher
Todd Baxter
Elliot Naishtat
Eddie Rodriguez
Jack Stick
Terry Keel
Gerald Dougherty
Everyone else….let’s recall them and move forward. If in can happen in California, it can happen anywhere. And it should. This is still a DEMOCRACY. WE the PEOPLE are what makes this nation great. Not THEM the OFFICIALS.
They are voted in to office to serve for the betterment of the community, not to line their own pockets.
CALL. WRITE. GET INVOLVED. Yes, you can. I don’t want to hear about how you are too tired or too busy. DO IT. DO IT RIGHT NOW while you are mad at me for bringing this to your attention!
posted by Sara Hickman at 12:16 pm
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Phone Songs and Parking Lots
We have lots of fun cracking each other up and playing music, and I look forward to helping raise much needed funds for the best live radio show in the United States. (Ok, ok…John Aielli and Garrison Keillor have the two best shows).
One of the things I started doing a few years back was to offer up an original song in exchange for people making huge donations to the station. Last year,
I called about 17 people with silly little ditties. This year, I limited the amount to ten because the calls vary date wise, and I have to plan around other folks’ agendas (which I don’t mind, but it can be some work!)
Usually, I gather information about someone’s spouse or mother-in-law or best friend via the person donating to KUT, and then I surprise the intended
receiver with a phone song on their birthday, anniversary, whatever special day was requested.
This year, I had the most unusual request. It affected my entire day because
it was something that shook me to the core.
I was asked to call the sister (“Peggy”) of a woman (“Joan”) who had died of a rare brittle bone disease. I was asked to call on Joan’s birthday. Oh, how I fretted over this song! My deepest desire was to be respectful of these two sisters, and to honor their love for one another. And, I wanted to honor the husband, who had made the request.
Well, the morning arrived to call, and I was wide awake by six a.m., watching the clock, worried I would somehow forget to call. The night before I had sung the song to Lance, and he felt it was just what it needed to be, calm and gentle, and I had explained to the girls how I would need their support by allowing me to make an important call the next morning.
I rang up the number. The sister answered. Because it was a surprise, I explained the reason for the call, and immediately, I could feel my heart swelling up like it does. I could hear the emotion in the woman’s voice. We spoke briefly, and I asked her if this was an alright time to sing the song, if she was comfortable and seated. She said she was ready. I had pre-recorded the song with my guitar on tape so I could sing a harmony with myself, and it was very, very difficult for me to get through the song, but I did. I finished, and their was an awkward stillness over the line. We chatted a few more moments, and we were finished.
I hung up and immediately called the man who had requested the gift, worried that, perhaps, I had caused the woman more pain. (By the way, she was very understanding and didn’t give me any reason to think anything was wrong…but, you can see how this would be uncomfortable for me, a stranger, can’t you?)
He was reassuring that everything was most likely fine.
My body just felt so shaky the rest of the day. I could never seem to find my ground again. I’m not sure why this affected me so greatly, except that I guess
it brought to light, once again, how temporary our lives with one another are…how we take for granted the ride to work, the phone calls, the letter in the mail, the family reunions, the trips to see old friends. How quickly it can all be pulled out from under us. How we should look one another in the eye whenever we are speaking, how important it is to connect while we can.
Perhaps the vulnerability of exposing oneself through art is something I should be used to by now. And, yet, as I get older, it seems to become more and more raw with me. I want to balance myself, and then I feel the pull to go out on that limb, just one more time!, and give everything I have, even when I’m not sure what or how to deliver that giving.
Last night, when I was parking my car in this vast lot, a young man came up to collect my parking fee. He had beautiful dark brown skin and eager eyes and rushing up to me, immediately asked, “Why is God too big to fit inside one religion?” He had read my bumper sticker on the back of the van. I smiled and said, “Because God is….” (accent on “is”)
He said, “There is only one religion!”
I nodded my head, and I said, “Yes? Which one?”
And he said, proudly, “Orthodox!”
“Oh,” I countered, calmly. “Do you mean Orthodox Christianity? Orthodox Judaism? Orthodox Muslim?”
He laughed, “No, no! Christianity! It is the only way!”
And I smiled and responded, “Well, I know that Jesus said “Love thy neighbor as thou loves thyself” and being a Christian, also, I feel it is not my place to judge those of other religions. It is my job to love them. Wouldn’t you agree?”
And he said, “Yes! The word of the bible! I read it all the time!”
I said, “Yes! God is good!”
And that was our conversation. I walked into the NARAS meeting happy.
And as I left two hours later, there he was, seated outside, talking with another attendant. I waved my hand and sent him love via my eyes and he threw the love back, smiling widely, and I was no longer shaking.
posted by Sara Hickman at 10:14 am
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Yum
August 11, 2004
Spoke at Leon Springs Elementary for 200 teachers about “Living in the Light”.
The theater had beach blankets and beach chairs and beach balls, so all the teachers got to chill while I performed for them…Fourteen thumbs up! I LOVE TEACHERS!!! What they impart is so magnificent. I truly enjoyed Dana and Kathy, the women who brought me to the conference. I called them the smiling bookends! Oh! And you just know the snacks totally rocked…I had these chocolate brownies with peanut butter in the middle….ahhh…I tried to save you, gentle reader, just one of these delicious, devilish delights…but, alas, I ate them all. Oh! And I asked this husky, tall man to come up and help on “Iolana”, and I was joking how there was no time for chop chop, get on up on the stage already what are you a P.E. instructor? Then he started hot footin’ it to the stage, and when I asked him what kind of teacher he was, he replied, “I teach P.E.!” Ha ha ha ha. That was a good one! OH OH! And I’m so happy because the performance was videotaped…I just NEVER think to do that, so thanks to DANA for taping it, and I hope I can put some clips on the website, so when people say, “What do you do at these talks?” I can say, “Watch this, please!”
And maybe post that brownie recipe, too!
Tish Hinojosa has asked us (Stingray) to create her new cd booklet. We did
“Sign of Truth” for her, as well, so I am looking forward to making another one.
Thinking beautiful images, yellows, oranges….warmth and sweetness.
I saw an Outlet Mall in San Marcos with an Outlet Storage Space across the highway. That made me laugh! Do people buy so much stuff that they just drive across the highway and store it?
Met Rupert Neve tonight. He had on a soft suedelike shirt and smelled like Old Spice, my favorite cologne. I told him I had recorded many times on his board at Cedar Creek Recording with Fred Remmert. What a warm board. I made “Spiritual Appliances” and the second “Domestic Science Club” cd there.
Also, some of “Necessary Angels”. It was an honor to finally meet this great man. We were at a NARAS Social at Cuba Libre…
Saw Hope Young and met Kathy and we talked about music therapy and the importance of music on the soul.
I sang at Judy Wisch’s 50th birthday party in Dallas at the swell Contemporary Arts Theatre off Greenville Avenue. Wow! Except for the oddly leaning floor, this old church has been converted into a magnificent theatre. Brad, Zirkel and I enjoyed the car trip up, even though poor Brad had a horrendous tooth ache.
I mistakenly thought we began at five, altho we weren’t scheduled to play until 9:30 pm…so, we shopped on Greenville. Brad bought a new earring (drummers!) and I bought clothes (girl vocalists!) and Zirkel checked out the Hamburger Man in the parking lot (bass players! food!) We had a sweet gig…
the best part was when little Jacob, Judy’s four year old son, came up and sang
“Coolness by Mistake” to his mom. We (the band) were trying to play oh-so-quietly so everyone could hear his sweet, soulful voice (he didn’ t want to sing on the mic…don’t blame him!) It brought the house down…The best gift of all…love.
Todd Wolfson took the most amazing pictures I have seen yet of my sweet girls and me (eating pancakes at Kirbey Lane!! standing among flowers! on stairs! next to mustard colored walls!) The man is a genius. He has got to make a coffee table book. He is just so so so so so talented. We got together so he could shoot me in some of Linda Holt’s jeans for “In Style” magazine….that will be exciting when they run! I’ll probably only be 1/2” tall, but I’ll let you know what issue…anyway, back to Todd…my girls look like dream angels, band members from London in their groovy clothes, the light swirling around them with their faces all aglow, the actresses popping out of them before the click…
Thank you, Todd, wherever you are tonight…Know you have made this mom
incredibly delighted with your quick eye and keen heart.
I’ve been enjoying cooking…I made homemade meatloaf the other night…I am talking FROM SCRATCH! Mmm…with brown sugar on top! That’s right…you haven’t had a meal to I’VE MADE YOU ONE! Complete with a glorious salad (yellow bell peppers, fresh lettuce, homegrown tomatoes, cottage cheese, croutons, Paul Newman’s dressing…), baked potato and lima beans! Oh! And homemade BISCUITS! Get the honey! We’re going to Ma Hickman’s!!!
We are reading the “Little Prince”. I probably already mentioned that. Sorry if I have mommyitis! We are on chapter 15…We read about three chapters each night to the girls…
Tired now…must…sleep….but I will dream of a peaceful planet…
posted by Sara Hickman at 11:02 pm
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Harriet: What’s In My Dumpster These Days…
August 02, 2004
Chant with me: MOO-VIE! MOO-VIE! Maybe we could send a petition to Hollywood. Hmm. Who could portray Harriet with dignity and strength?
I know. Do you?
CLEAN UP TIME:
I have been going deep into my closet and throwing things away. I have a room being added to the back of our house, and with a gianormous forest green dumpster sitting on my driveway, I find it an invitation to FUNG SHUE.
(I think I spelled that wrong. Does that look like some nasty sort of foot disease?) Well, you know what I mean.
So, I have all these videos, newspaper clippings, photographs, you name it.
Stuff from another lifetime. Stuff I was keeping because I thought, perhaps, someday my girls might grow up and be keen on seeing what I did as a performer. But then that dumpster showed up. And, I realized, “Stop holding on to all that stuff!”
I take boxes of things outside. The girls ask, “What are we throwing up into the dumpster?” and I say, “Pieces of my life!” but I say it like an elf escaping a dark fantasy. It feels FANTASTIC to watch this stuff fly up UP UP and over into
the old bricks, glass shattering, the sounds of plastic splitting. We smile at one another, and before we know it, we are in the middle of a throwing frenzy.
Sometimes a video won’t make it over the top, but hits the outside of the dumpster with a dull thump, then falls to the ground, and that hurts, a little.
I don’t really want to see parts of myself exploding on the drive. I like that they just go up and disappear. Kinda like video heaven: tape melting in the sun and becoming one cosmic blob inside a container bound for a land fill. (Sorry about that…but everything returns to dust at some point. I can’t burn these things, and I hate when they end up on EBAY, with someone making money off my life experiences and musical attempts.)
Lance said two things about it all: first, now I have a DVD. So, I can get rid of these things… to which I responded, yes, that’s true, but Gene didn’t put EVERYTHING on there, honey! And this is my life, this is a part of me…
(Odd how I’ve gotten attached to things I never watch nor things I never read, but I guess it was an experience to go through and see how much I’ve done that no body knows about! Not even me, til I relived it. All those moments went by so quickly, I don’t know that I could even keep or nor enjoy what was going on!)
Then, as he and I were hurling items into the dumpster last night, he commented, “Wouldn’t that be funny if Joy was in the dumpster now? You’d be hitting her on the head again with stuff from your past!” And I said, “That would be SCARY!”, but I had to laugh. Funny how it all comes around, you know?
And we have to be open to the letting go!
Speaking of the girls, we are now reading “The Little Prince” to them. It is so enchanting. The entire opening chapter still cracks me up. The drawing of the elephant inside the boa constrictor, and adults thinking it is a hat.
We had family movie night last night…Lance rented “SPELLBOUND”, and the four of us lay on the sofa bed, watching kids feel the pressure of spelling in their regional, and finally, national spelling bee. Good stuff! Tonight, Lily and I were practicing spelling, and it was adorable to watch her gather her wits and imitate the children in the film….spelling each letter meticulously, carefully…
“ponder” and “cantankerous”…
I made cookies today. When they were done, the girls made a huge pitcher of iced water, gathered up two glasses, a plate of cookies, and we delivered them to the duo of construction workers outside. When we opened the back door, the
men appeared to be two and a half feet tall, standing in a ditch they have been digging the last two days. It made us giggle to hand the cookies down to them, as if we are three giant girls from the Land Of Kitchen.
Summer is ending. We went swimming, but there was hardly anyone at the pool. Except for life guards (one who chunked a twenty pound concrete block into the twelve food deep end to see if he could retrieve it with one hand..I’m not kidding) and a baby with a beach ball. And a fifty five year old man showed up, outside the fence, hawking $5 pizzas. He had a stack of those giant square cardboard boxes between his hands, and he looked like he was asleep, until he would burst out with, “PEEEEZZZZZAAAAAHS! GETCHER PEEEEZZZZAAAAHS for five dolllllllllaaaaahhhhs!”, his eyes the size of the moon and his face all read, then, just as quickly as he had exploded, he’d return to his mid-afternoon snooze, standing like an oily cow asleep in the sun, just waiting for a cow-tipper to tip him over. Lily immediately got hungry, but I told her I wasn’t buying a pizza from a man I hadn’t seen make the pizza.
I got mad today thinking about DVD players in cars. I know I’ve kavetched on them before, but why why why can’t people see the correlation between numbing and dumbing? There are times when we, as a family, get a little ancy or bored, but then one of us comes up with some silly word game, or notices something outside on the lawn (today it was a dove and our beloved mockingbird) or whatever. Those moments, albeit seemingly trivial, are important to bonding and growing, as children, and as a family.
Without them, how can we grow in strength, grace and love?
Right after the national holiday for Harriet gets passed, I’m going to speak out for a national week of NO TV. Can you imagine? Ha ha ha. Now you KNOW I am a dreamer! But, hey, there are ramps for the handicapped and vegetarian meals available in every restaurant because someone believed and went after it. You never know.
posted by Sara Hickman at 11:03 pm
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