Letter to Children Going through Divorce: Or Adults Who Still Wonder
October 29, 2004

This is a letter I wrote today to a young boy in Houston whose parents are going through a divorce. After I wrote it, I thought, “Gee, I wish someone had written a letter to me when I was twelve and my parents were going through a divorce…!” So, of course, that led me to think that I would post it here on my blog so ANYONE out there who wants to print it out, sign their own name and send it to a child going through divorce could do so. (Feel free to change words and flow…think of it as a starting point for getting your own letter to someone in need…)

I’ve intentionally left his name off the letter for privacy reasons. With that said, I will just write “Adam”. And make sure and put YOUR name in the letter…goes without saying, but you never know!

Dear Adam,

Hi. My name is Sara. I’m a 41 year old woman and my parents were divorced when I was 12. That is one of the reasons I am writing to you today. I’m writing to say that the pain of a family break-up never truly disappears BUT don’t think I’m telling you that to discourage you. I’m telling you this because A) I know you’ve been going through a hard time and B) something good will come of this sadness you feel. You may not know it or see it RIGHT NOW, but somehow you will use this time of learning, anger, confusion, lonliness, questioning and yearning to lead you into being an amazing person. (I’m sure you are already a
great kid….In fact, I know you are.)

How will this time of your life change and affect you? I don’t know. I wish I could answer that for you. But I tell you this: hold on to the simple truth that you are already whole and marvelous and NOTHING can change that….except you.

So, stay on a course of determination and believe in yourself, my friend. Something good will come of this.

Love,
Sara

posted by Sara Hickman at 12:20 pm
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Grammy Craft Committee

Part of being on the board for NARAS (National Association of Recording Arts and Sciences) is that everyone serves on additional committees. I’m the Chair for the Educational committee and also serving on the Craft committee, which judges entries for package design.

In the Craft committee, we meet every couple of weeks and look through boxes of cds (and the occassional vinyl) sent from headquarters (national office) that have been submitted from qualifying candidates eligible to receive a Grammy for package design. This is a fun group. It’s my third time to serve on this branch, and I would do it every year if elected in each time.

Most of the cd entries are typical—-face on cover, song content on back with another photo of the musician. The ones that really stand out are the cream that rises to the top, and we can pretty much spot them the minute the entries are all layed out on this giant design table we use for our judging space. It’s exciting when we start mulling over the interior of booklets, or find a surprise design element underneath the physical cd itself. Talking with other designers (there are five of us), I enjoy listening to what they would have done to strengthen a recordings overall look.

However, my favorite part of this process is the special packages—-boxed sets or limited releases. Although I can’t disclose to you who I have voted for this year, I’d like to share that ZZ Top had a very funny element in their design and that the Talking Heads collection was GORGEOUS. Absolutely stellar. Also, I would like to, once again, applaud the entire country of Japan for making the most unbelievable designs and always staying on top of genius.

But do let me describe the ZZ Top set: the box looks like a miniature tin roofed Texas B-B-Q joint. When you open the lid, they have cleverly devised a way that the five cds sit in a stair-step pattern, from low to high, so that you can pluck the cds from their black, faux velvet nestled interior. But when you look towards the top, behind the last cd itself, it looks like a fat booklet, ready to be removed and read. As I pulled it out, it revealed itself to be a two and a half inch length by one inch flip book! Two different flip “stories”—-one version is the dudes twirling their guitars, stoic as all get out; you turn the book around, and the other side shows the three bearded gents lined up, so as you flip the pages, they slide their hands from left to right as if to say, “Come on in…check out what’s cooking!” Waaaaay hilarious.

posted by Sara Hickman at 07:55 am
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Jon Stewart on Crossfire
October 27, 2004

I voted.

I wish I had had more choices, more to think and mull over in conjunction with the candidates. I wish there had been thirteen choices. I wish
it had been hard to make a decision on whom to vote for. I wish I had been
inspired and torn because all the candidates were clear, concise, intelligent,
passionate, concerned, informed and driven to take America, and the world, to the next level: a world based on educated reasoning and thought full decision making. A world struggling to come to terms with its differences and unique
abilities; one of conversations and hope, moving towards caring for the peoples of the world, not hell bent on destroying them.

This a.m. I watched an attempt by Jon Stewart to cross the line from comedy to reality on “Crossfire”…here is the link:

http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2652831&htv=12

I say “attempt” because I think he has a very valid point and I am glad he chose to speak out about the media in this country. I’m not sure the way he went about it was understood by the two men who are the hosts of “Crossfire”, only because they are so deeply ingrained in the corporate system that I think they could only respond personally and defensively (the guy in the bow tie more so, but he was also getting some low blows from Jon. I’m not defending either man, but I do think it is possible to have debates/conversations without getting into personal attacks. It is exactly what the presidential candidates are doing..and we’re all tired of it.)

I don’t have cable, so I don’t watch Mr. Stewart’s show, or “Crossfire”, or Bill O’Reilly or any of those folks. I choose to read the paper or, if I watch TV at all, I watch PBS, which I think has the closest thing to covering objective reporting.

I like that Mr. Stewart tried to make a point, I only wish more people were attempting to do the same thing and bring to light the problems and the
hypocrisy of our political system (really, our corporate system.) What if the two hosts on “Crossfire” had responded to Jon by saying, “You know what? You’re right. We’re puppets making a living, doing what the man upstairs requests of us. Let’s change that…right now!” And then they had, magically, had Bush and Kerry appear, and asked them real questions that real people have been asking each other and we got real answers from both B & K. That would have been refreshingly REAL.

I know many people ARE speaking out, and going to the poles, and it gives me hope.

Maybe then we can get back to the comedy. As you know, comedy is based on the truth, and that is what makes us laugh…So, maybe we are just condemned to live in a quagmire so comedians can ease our pain! How ridiculous is that!

posted by Sara Hickman at 11:04 am
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Pervasive PowerCharge Race
October 25, 2004

Rockin’ out with the Girl Scouts!

posted by Sara Hickman at 11:03 pm
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Rosa
October 24, 2004

“Press start, let’s dance!”

And so it goes, listening to a young, enthusiastic and raw energy called ROSA while sitting in Houston at my best friend, Julie’s, house. Her son, Kirke, plays washtub bass with a trio of friends, and he wanted me to hear some of their music.

Now, people hand me their cds, asking for advice or help on how to make it in this business, at least three to five times a week. I try to give a listen, and I try to give constructive feedback.

And on that rare occassion, I get treated to something that makes me smile
with the knowledge of “yes”. I say “yes” because the songs and the feeling and the experience and the honesty all ring true and there is no question that
“yes” is stamped all over what I’ve just heard.

So, you could understand why I was a little apprehensive about listening to Kirke’s music. I was face to face with a person sharing their art; not jotting off a thoughtful response via snail or email. I was sitting in a room not only with Kirke and his songs, but his mom/my dear friend and two of Kirke’s siblings.
Who all knew the words to his songs.

Well, the first song was just so darn peppy and funny and energetic. I was bouncing and wanting to sing along. I was pulled in. The second and third song were that way, too. Echoed in full force by every member of the band, the lead singer was full throttle barking through the stereo speakers, a slight heliumesque quality, a tiny high school pep rally. I could imagine the four of them cracking themselves up between the banjo and the elements of Green Day, the Ramones, Cobras, Sex Pistols and the Judys.

If I had a new lifetime theme song (alongside the extraordinary one on the end of “Two Kinds of Laughter” by Austin Haverty), I would want it to be by ROSA.
(I’ll download an example and get it to this site so you can hear it. Not now.
But later. I have to figure out how to do it first!)

While I was in Houston, I performed at Oak Forest Elementary. And I had one of those amazing angel experiences.

At the school, I went into the lunchroom/dance hall to check out the sound situation. Well, there was a vocal mic, which led into hidden mains up in the ceiling, but the sound was practically obliterated by a hissing distortion.
And, no place to add my acoustic guitar (no place to plug into the system).
It was looking fruitless, but I had decided I would just sing sans sound system, when the music teacher arrived and announced she had an amp in her room.
The amp sounded so good compared to the mic, but I couldn’t connect the mic into the amp. The show would have to go on!

For the first show, the pre-K through first, I performed, had a great time, and no one seemed to mind the yucky sound scenario. Here is where the angel part comes in. A handsome dad named Augie realized the trouble I was having, left the school, ran to his studio, and brought back an entire P.A., set it up between shows, and voila! Second show (2nd -3rd), I felt like I was in Carnagie Hall.
The sound was that delicious over what I had just experienced. Afterwards, I thanked Augie and gave him some cds and we talked about how he wants to create Christian children’s music and I told him to go for it!

After hugging about 8,302 adorable children, Julie and I left school to eat at a place called Kandy’s. Unbeknownst to us, Kandy is Augie’s mother. So, as we are eating lunch, talking to the fine lady as she brings us our meals, we mention the kindness of a man named Augie and she beams, “That’s my son!”
Isn’t that amazing!?

What else? We got a surprise animation of “Look At Me” in the mail this week from Mike Cogliandro. Lily was so thrilled to be animated! Not only did Mike capture the sweetness (and the heartache) of the song, but he did this all without uttering a peep, so we had no idea he was making this lovely art.
We watched it over and over…I know this will end up on the DVD I am trying to put together of animated pieces to about 30 of my recorded children’s songs…then you’ll be able to see it, too! Thank you, Mike! We love it!

I made homemade banana cake last night while talking on the phone to Gene.
He was in Baltimore. He is in lurve. I love when people meet someone they can
get smooshy about. It’s so exciting!

I’ve been performing a lot lately. Today I have an early morning show at Pervasive.

My insomnia has reached a crucial point. I will be returning to a sleep specialist. The fatigue I try to hide everywhere I go is finally eating away at my heart and soul. It is really bringing me down, physically. I guess between the combination of my age and lifestyle, it is just too much to get by on a small amount of sleep anymore.

posted by Sara Hickman at 08:12 am
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Lists…
October 09, 2004

I was a speaker/performer at the RCB (Redirecting Children’s Behaviour) National Convention here in Austin. Oh, it was a marvelous time!

I was thinking about lists. I thought I’d make a list of things that interest me.
Here goes:

Things I’ll Definately Do Before I Die

Visit Bali
Meet a President
Learn how to ballroom dance with my husband
Return to Romania to help with the Tanner Romanian Mission
Speak better Spanish
Take another balloon ride with my dear friend, Kong
Make another cd
Hike the 100 mile trek on the trails in Germany
Perform in a play
Write a children’s book
Learn how to fly a small plane
Shave my head
Become a vegetarian (again…permanently!)
Become a minister
Visit a silence retreat
Teach at Omega Crossings (Austin)
Get a child psychology degree from UT or St. Edwards
Milk a cow with my kids on an organic farm
Visit Iraq, Palestine, Israel, Greece, Bosnia, Africa with a humanitarian
organization…I would love to be a Peace Corps volunteer after my children leave home
Drive around the U.S. with my family on a long summer vacation
Return to Brian Rumbaugh’s summer camp in California, Adventure’s Elite
Have a day with my friend, Robert Peters
Help defeat human slavery all over the world

Things I Might Do/I’d Like to Do Before I Die

Run for City Council/Be an ambassador for peace for Austin
Skydive
Have a children’s tv show/radio show
Perform with Conspirare
Have Neil Young sing a duet on a cd with me
Write a computer program
Take an algebra class
Learn how to sew
Perform on David Letterman
Have a one woman show at a theatre in the round
Narrate a documentary
Learn to play banjo, violin or piano

Things I Will Definately NOT Do Before I Die

Learn how to scuba
Be in a hot dog eating contest
Waterski
Swim with sharks (cage or no cage)
Get Botox
Run in a 26 mile marathon
Tour with Marilyn Manson or Insane Clown Posse

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m sure I’ll think of more!

posted by Sara Hickman at 04:20 pm
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Southwest Folk Alliance/Vic and Reba
October 01, 2004

Number 117, Paul Heller, came up to say hello, and that was how he introduced himself, “Hi, I’m number 117!” Let me say there is something incredibly moving about this silent group of people, occassionally appearing, wings invisible, but spirits strong. Sometimes they have on their blue aluminum bracelet, then I get really choked up. It will be banged up and battered, but there it is, thrust out for me to see on the wrist of an angel!

I wish I could have an angel reunion to once again thank all the people who helped bring “Necessary Angels” into the light. I will have to think of a special 10 year anniversary surprise to send out to each one. How would I find them all? Hmm…I have addresses, but they are years old. Maybe I could google each person…I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.

And, oh, there was Dalis, getting into a golf cart to head down towards the evening’s cruise. I hopped on to the cart and we exchanged kisses. I like seeing Dalis because she is the kind of person I would want to get stuck in a storm with—-always calm, always the voice of reason. She is smart, and friendly, but not over the top. She would have been a great president of the United States. But, thankfully, she runs the Kerrville Folk Festival. I have to say, for some reason, many years back I thought she had a wooden leg. I’m not sure whose leg it was, but I saw it sitting in the back of another golfcart, on the way to another cruise, and I kept peeking looks at her legs the whole trip, but her legs looked real, not plastic.

Then I started thinking maybe Rod (Kennedy)had a false leg; he, too, had been in that golf cart with Dalis on that particular day. But his legs were healthy and seemingly covered in natural hair, although he was always wearing white knee socks and sneakers, so it was hard to tell for a bit there. Finally, I just came to the conclusion the mysterious leg belonged to the driver of the golf cart. It was a spare in case he lost one at sea , and he had just non-chalantly laid his extra on the back floor of the cart. The more I thought about it, the more I thought, “Well, that’s hip. Just leaving your leg out in the open…” Like having a spare guitar.

On the boat, it was exciting to see familiar faces. This is only the second folk alliance I have ever attended (the last one in a snow storm in D.C. back when Democrats ruled). Right off the bat I ran into Robert, who runs the Jefferson Freedom Cafe. He’s tall. In fact, every time I see Robert, I think, “That is one tall man.” And he’s sturdy. He’s a good looking, tall and sturdy man who reminds me of Thomas Jefferson. I never met Thomas Jefferson, and maybe my mind is just overly concerned about the up coming election because I seem to be doing a lot of comparisons with oval office personalities on today’s blog entry, but he does remind me of someone stately. Maybe he could be on Dalis’ cabinet, if she was president. Yes, Robert could be secretary of Peace and Love. Wouldn’t that sound much, much better than Secretary of War? Good God, why would anyone want that title? It’s just putting bad joo-joo out there.
I’m surprised with Bush in office that the war department hasn’t had bumper stickers made that say, “We’re the War Department…Bring it on!” I probably shouldn’t have just written that. Now they probably will make them. Oh, this country is falling apart. That is why it was nice to be on a boat with a bunch of hippies in tie die and long skirts and mermaid curly-q hair who all smell like
roses and patchouli and still want to give peace a chance. That’s all we are saying, you know.

Then, there was Vic and Reba. Gosh, I love them so much. In fact, yesterday was their 48th wedding anniversary. I feel like I have known them since before I was born, and I hardly, really, know them, but wouldn’t you know it? We are ALWAYS on cruises together. One time we all sat in a hot tub together on a cruise to Belize. Vic and Reba are the kind of folks from up north that make
me think of seasons. They remind me that there is a natural rythym to the world…the sky will be blue, the leaves will turn orange, brown, yellow…snow will cover the earth, but then spring will arrive and tiny shoots will burst their flowers towards the sun. Vic and Reba have that all natural grace, and you know they have stories out the wazoo to tell when you are standing with them.
So, back to Vic. I was holding his gentle hand, and looking deeply into his eyes,
and I just started telling him, very quietly, what a good, good human being he is and what an honor to know him. How much I loved he and Reba, and that I
truly, truly appreciated all their kindnesses towards me and Lily over the years.
Then I started feeling the tears trickle down my face.

It was one of those “we are connected” moments. The boat was moving, Vic and I were situated on the very top level, seated in white plastic lawn chairs, the sky exploding in a vast array of sunset hues—-swirling pinks, purples and husky blues—-with someone playing guitar and singing in the background.
The air was just right….caressing everyone, whispering secret nothings…

I love being a human being. I love the spirit of risk and joy and, yes, even sorrow. I love that words can change, uplift, restore a moment, a friendship,
a memory.

I have to go make school lunches. Then we are going in to Lily’s school to see Joe McDermott performer…then I have an office meeting with very nice Teresa, whom I hardly ever get to see, and then io and I are driving towards Houston to visit my mom. So, I will try to write up about the performances from last night, too, when I return.

Happy weekend, happy love to you.

posted by Sara Hickman at 08:08 am
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