The Passing Of Bruce Rouse
February 28, 2005

Last Sunday night, I was hugging Bruce and we were laughing about something personal.

He was so vibrant, so present. I am in shock. I just don’t know what to say.

Please read about this dear man and know that he was very special to many, many people. God Bless you, Bruce. And God Bless Liz as she struggles to understand this loss beyond loss.

His family, and the folk music community, lost a leading light, Bruce Rouse, on the afternoon of February 26, 2005. Even if you didn’t have the pleasure of knowing Bruce personally, as a fan of acoustic music your life was touched by what he and Liz accomplished.

Bruce Rouse was born on September 17, 1942, in Sault Ste Marie, Canada. He married his life-long dance partner, Liz Deans, on February 14, 1962, and they came to the United States in 1966.

Bruce earned his BS at the University of Guelph, Canada, in 1966, and a Master’s in Zoology, at New Mexico State University, in 1969. He gained a Phd. in Zoology at the University of Texas at Austin in 1972.

As a Research Scientist, overseeing UT’s Petroleum Engineering Laboratories, Bruce worked to solve the tough questions of ecology and soil reclaimation. He continued this invaluable work even after his retirement from UT in August, 2004. As a passionate devotee of acoustic music, who had gotten so much from the music community, Bruce labored joyfully to give back to that community, by supporting his favorite artists, known and unknown, and fostering an ever-expanding acoustic music scene, here in Texas and across North America.

Bruce and Liz hosted concerts in their North Austin home for 15 years, until their recent move to Sun City, Georgetown. Over the years, hundreds of artists and thousands of folk music fans gathered at the Rouse House Concerts, to enjoy and celebrate music and friendships.

Bruce also mentored other acoustic concert promoters, encouraged novice songwriters and performers, and proselytized for folk music, whenever and wherever he could. He served on the Folk Alliance’s Board of Directors and directed seminars on house concerts at the world-famous Kerrville Folk Festivals, where he and Liz were always in attendance. Together, they sponsored a regular Songwriters’ Breakfast Circle, and last year created Canadian Day at the Festival.

Bruce was a well-rounded man, avidly supporting Longhorn sports, interested in politics, literature, photography, cultures, and people. He was a personable, gregarious man, with an open heart, a winning smile, and an impish sense of humor. He and Liz loved to dance, to travel, to visit and brag about their grandchildren.

Bruce leaves to cherish his memory his wife, Liz; his daughter, Deb Rouse, and son-in-law, Lindsey Lee; his daughter, Janet Kisler, son-in-law, Bron Kisler, and beloved grandchildren, Bella and Gabriel; and a huge host of friends.

A celebration of Bruce’s life is being planned for the afternoon of Wednesday, March 2, 2005. Details will appear in the Austin American-Statesman on Tuesday.

posted by Sara Hickman at 07:31 am
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Teaching The Song
February 25, 2005

Today I went to teach songwriting at Barton Hills Elementary.

First class was 55 fifth graders, second class was 40 fourth grades, last class was 24 sixth graders. Zoom! I was off and running. The first two classes I taught were in the school cafeteria…I taught about Blind Contour Drawing, I taught about Cluster Writing, I taught about rhythm, rhyme, storytelling, how to create a “Living Drawing” (an exercise I’ve made up that is quite hilarious to do with anyone wanting to be more creative), the verse, the chorus, the hook, the bridge, etc…and we wrote songs!

There were kids who were eager to jump up in front of other kids and share their raps and poetry. There were kids who were terrified to share anything. I had special needs kids in the second group, and I invited (encouraged) them to join us in sharing their writings, too…Gosh! It was so beautiful…and each class is completely different…to find the groove of each class’s dynamics as quickly as possible is so important…I only have 45 minutes each class!

There is one little boy I would like to mentor. He is so bright, but I can tell he is beaten down. I can tell he just needs someone to say, “I believe in you.” It is apparent , within moments, which children have the support and love of family, and which children are being lost in the shuffle of life. Those are the kids I want to reach…although my hope is to leave each class motivated as individuals that they are worthy, whole, amazing children.

In the sixth grade class, I was able to introduce deeper concepts because of their age. Towards the end, after they had written their song, “The Swiss Cheese Vicious”, they asked me to sing one of my songs. One boy requested “Cantaloupe”, so I explained how it had come to be created, and then sang a fast paced version of it. Then I sang “Last Man In the Water.”

I have to tell you, I never been so humbled as when I looked around that classroom. Everyone was so intent on listening to what I was sharing. I was releasing each word from my mouth with as much love as I could muster…describing the crash of the plane, the fire around the people within, the sudden burst of freezing water…the lone man swimming to save complete strangers…my fingers were finding the chords and I was caressing my guitar one minute, the next pushing the chords to a louder support of the vocals above…

It felt like we were in the water together, this class and me.

As I reached the bridge of the song, I turned to look in the face of a girl to my right. Her eyes were full of tears, and my heart caught in my throat. I knew I was going to start crying, but I struggled on, thinking of William Arland, that I had to sing on as his voice, not my own.

After the song came to a close…there were questions, and I was glad to have them. I love the discussion part when children have questions to ask. I want them to know what this life has in store, I want them to feel free to ask “Why” and “How” and have dialogue with those of us who want to share
our own knowledge…but, most of all, I want them to believe in their own purpose. I want them to recognize that they can be who they already are…that what they have to offer up is unique and wondrous. I want my children to feel this way. I want all children to feel this way. I want to feel this way!

It makes me wonder if I should be a teacher. But I love having these opportunities, working with an assortment of different scenarios, being on the brink of the unknown everyday. I love that I get to sing and think and write and record and create and draw and LIVE. God, I want to live!

I will close with this quote that is on my desk:

“Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfullment.”

I am not afraid of death in the least. But I am wary of time running out…I want more time!!!!

posted by Sara Hickman at 11:27 am
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Sunday Evening/ William Shatner
February 22, 2005

This is the THIRD time I have written this entry because in my mommy fatigue fog I keep hitting the wrong button and deleting every word!

So, let’s hope this one makes it…

SUNDAY NIGHT:

Went to Schultz’s Beer Garden. Sang at the benefit for Chris Gage, a musician who was injured and needed financial assistance. So many great musicians came out to donate their services, and the place was packed. Ray Wylie Hubbard, Eliza Gilkinson, Slaid Cleves, Danny Britt, and on and on…

When I sang “Simply”, I asked all the couples present to slow dance, like it was prom night, and that Chris and Christine (Chris’ wife) were the king and queen…for everyone to dance for Chris. The floor was packed, and Bradley Kopp hopped up to play guitar with me…it was so romantic and loving, the bodies swaying while I sang into the dark of the night…To see so many couples, happy and holding one another, it really moved my heart.

I think the event must have raised over $10,000 easily. I hope so. Insurance is nearly impossible for so many people to afford nowadays, and even when you have it, like I do, the deductibles are so high, you are paying out the wazoo for every time you go to the doctor AND paying the insurance company.

I have SAG (Screen Actors Guild), which I have because of tv/commercial work. However, several years ago, I was dropped about one month before Lily broke her arm. It was frightening. The one time we needed hospital coverage, and it was suddenly gone (because I hadn’t been able to get enough commercial work…that is why Daisy Sour Cream is so important to me and my family…God, I pray I pass the audition again! We find out, hopefully, by the end of the week.) Coverage was ours again once I had enough commercial work, but what if I get dropped again? I’ve been looking online, and everything is just so expensive. What about all the families without musicians for friends to throw them a benefit? How are they coping? How did this insurance system become such a radical nightmare?

Well, back to Sunday night….

After I left the gig, I was headed south on Congress, and I spied two young girls at a bus stop. One looked about 15, the other seemed, astonishingly, about 8. Then I saw the older girl hand the younger girl a cigerette, and light it while it was in her mouth! I found a turnaround and headed the van back in their direction, pulling up next to them, popping on my flashers, and walked over to them pleading, “Please don’t let that little girl smoke. Please…”

The older girl protested that she hadn’t been smoking, but I said that I had seen her. I walked back to my car feeling confused and dejected. Maybe I hadn’t seen it right, should I be offering them a ride, where were their parents, why were they out on a Sunday night, alone, at 9:30 in downtown Austin…
all these questions were storming my brain.

I drove on, and at the next intersection was a homeless man, dancing in the halo of the streetlight, signing himself with the cross, fingers across his chest…

There was something so melancholy about the whole evening. I just wanted to bawl my eyes out.
At times like that, I just feel overwhelmed with sadness…for those girls, for that man, for the
enormity of it all. I swear, my heart bursts and I have to get home. I have to feel the balance of my family to know that there is a love I can hold onto….I don’t blame God for any of this. I don’t blame anyone, really…I just felt so very sad.

I’ve been really working hard, lately. Teaching writing classes, talking to folks about helping at risk youth, planning benefits with different organizations, being the cookie co-ordinator for Lily’s troop (which, although crazy making, is fun accounting!)…grocery shopping, cleaning house, trying to keep up with the phone and emails…playing with our new mice, Stripes and Racer…trying to work out as often as possible at Curves (what an amazing place! I LOVE IT!)…

I’m also working on organizing time to go back in the studio, to write songs, to be creative. I just want to make new music. I ‘m so bored with myself. I want to dance. I want to make songs that make you dance. I want to feel sexy and shine on the stage with a glorious sweat that is inviting and fun and frivolous.

I want flowers to bloom in my yard. I want to bake pies. I want to sit with George Bush and talk with him, really be able to ask him “Why” and “How” and “What” and “Where is this taking us” and “What will be the results”. Why can’t I sit and talk with the president?

I want my brain to hush.

I keep listening to William Shatner’s new album with Ben Folds. God. It is so invigorating. Could that Matt Chamberlain be any more brilliant? Could William Shatner’s voice be any more convincing? Could Ben Folds have made a more fantastic album? I love it. I drive around with it blaring full volume, windows down, feeling free and enjoying every moment of that music.

I tried to listen to the Mosquitos. But I have to keep reaching for William. He brings me relief, he makes me laugh.

posted by Sara Hickman at 08:37 pm
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Sunday Morning
February 20, 2005

By the way, that picture of me and Ray Mel is from 1988 or so! Didn’t want you to think I was wearing those earrings just yesterday! Although, I might wear them tomorrow…. Ha ha!

I love Sundays. Well, I love Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays, too. All the days of the week. Happy days.

I have been reading. And reading. And getting closer to God through reading. I feel so excited about God. Thank you, God, for all that you have shared with me, with my children, with my loving spouse, with my family, with my friends, with my pets, with my green grass of home, with the neighbors, with the community of Austin, with the rivers, through the creation of the rainbow and the leaves and the tiny bugs and the wind…thank you for the lightning and the whisper of
a giggle about to burst forth…thank you for rocks. I love rocks. I love those big rocks we can crawl around on. Thank you for Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. Thank you for the people reading my blog. Thank you for my feet. Thank you for the silk pajamas and the worms that make such strong, soft thread. Thank you for farmers. Thank you for worms. Thank you for the ability to type. Thank you for my fingers that can play music or write a poem or touch a face. Thank you for my heart, my sweet, sweet heart…Thank you for laughter. Thank you for rolling on the floor, tears streaming on the face, hard to breathe laughing so hard kind of laughter. Thank you for the Kerrville Music Festival. Thank you for Rod Kennedy. Thank you for Gene, who believes in me and created this blog, my DVD and new stickers for my cds. Thank you, God, for Jon and Shannon. Thank you for my dear friends Leah, Julie, Jen, Mary, Snoozin, Charlotte, Cyndy, Nina Butts…thank you for Margaret. Thank you for Johnny Cat. Thank you for bringing Caryl in to this world and thank you for having her with you now. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for making him a loving, sexy, thoughtful, listening, happy, patient, kind, generous soul. Thank you for helping him to be such an astounding father to my children. Thank you for my front porch. Thank you for spring, winter, fall and summer. Especially spring and fall. Thank you for caves. Thank you for bats. Thank you for ladybugs. Thank you for my eyes. Thank you for David Garza. Thank you for people who make concious decisions to make the world a better place. Thank you for watercolors. Thank you for the Louvre. Thank you for Leonardo Di Vinci. Thank you for movies that make me weepy. Thank you for music. Thank you for my refridgerator. Thank you for food. Thank you for the miracle of life. Thank you for my mom and dad. Thank you for my sister. Thank you for helping me when I have bad breath. Thank you for Peter Bay. Thank you for Robert Peters. Thank you for the Jackson Family. Thank you for our spiritual leaders. Thank you for Mother Theresa. Thank you for Ghandi. God bless the Beatles and thank you for their inspiring music. Thank you for chalk. Thank you for paint, that can change the life of a room .Thank you for people who use their minds to write books. Thank you for the breeze. Thank you for Girl Scout Cookies. Thank you for helping me through Algebra class with a “D” instead of an “F”. Thank you for the staple and the paper clip. Thank you for the Bible. Thank you for the Qu’aran. Thank you for Marty Lester…my never ending friend. Thank you for this blog. Thank you for relief workers. Thank you for electricity. Thank you for boats. Thank you for paper. Thank you for enthusiasm. Thank you for clean air and water (help us with this, God!) Thank you for angels. Thank you for toilet paper. Thank you for the ability to be thankful. Thank you for envelopes. Thank you for shoes. Thank you for odor eaters. Thank you for the anteater. Thank you for kiwi. Thank you for islands. Thank you for sunshine. Thank you for John Denver. Thank you for the Mucky Duck in Houston. Thank you for Easter. Thank you for time. Thank you for museums. Thank you for reindeer. Thank you for Santa Claus. Thank you for myth, thank you for fact. Thank you for vocal cords. Thank you for mud. Thank you for joy. Thank you for sorrow. Thank you for the ability to feel and make love. Thank you for
the alphabet. Thank you for the Aztecs. Thank you for history. Thank you for people who write history down. Thank you for shelves. Thank you for my mind. Thank you for skin. Thank you for firefighters. Thank you for sidewalks. Thank you for bicycles. Thank you for the tires on my car. Thank you for coal. Thank you for candles. Thank you for flame. Thank you for breakfast. Thank you for Lily and iolana, the two shiniest, happiest, dearest beings I could be blessed to wake up to every day. Thank you for breath. Thank you for life. Thank you for death. Thank you for the ability to hold hands and comfort. Thank you for pie. Thank you for spoons. Thank you for my days to come and days that have been and for all that you breathe into our world. Thank you for this creation.

I love you!
Sara

posted by Sara Hickman at 07:18 am
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More Swap

Read two blogs back so you will understand what I am writing about before reading on if you have no idea what I am talking about!

WIFE SWAP RANT CONTINUED

So, Kris, the angry woman, accuses Kristine of being a “sexual predator” (or “sexual offender”, I can’t recall now).
Lance and I could not believe it, nor could the other couple (the two women).

Kristine’s partner immediately jumped to her defense, aghast at what this woman has just said. Kristine is crying, trying hard not to, but tears are falling.

Kris goes on to say that she was terrifed to have her children with this woman for the last two weeks.

(Here’s what I am thinking: THEN WHY DID YOU DO THE SHOW? Why leave your children with ANY stranger for two weeks?!)

So, then, Kristine tries to speak, herself, and through her tears says that she did the show because she wanted to bring some joy to another family, and learn new things, and to show that her family is a good family. Basically, her intent was goodness. And that she is insulted that this woman would call her a sexual predator.

Kristine, to her credit, never counter attacks this woman…although, she could have said, “I find your prejudice repulsive and immature. I did not assume anything about you because of the color of your skin, your religious views nor the fact you are in an inter-racial marriage…Not so long ago, and to this day, people have held prejudices over these very matters. I ask that you get to know me, and my partner, before you make such stinging, broad
brush and false accusations.”

Kristine and her partner had every right to get up and walk out. They could have screamed at the top of their lungs.

But what she chooses to say showed her true colors. She chose to turn towards the husband, to remind the husband that he and the kids had a good time, that they enjoyed having her there, in their house…(A sign that Kristine is still focused on the positive, even after this woman has viciously attacked her on national television. And, she talks to the husband, through her tears. Tough and brave, I say!)

And then…to our disbelief, the husband says (I’m paraphrasing here), “I’m sorry you got that impression. That just isn’t true…”

Lance told me that while I was out of the room he learned that the husband had gone to a gay bar with Kristine and enjoyed line dancing, had seemed to really open up and enjoy himself, just like Kristine described. That the children had been happy and laughing with her in the house.

Now, when Kris finds out her husband did this, won’t it be considered a big lie? That her husband lied to her, on many levels?

I’m not clear on why Kris, or her husband, agreed to do the show…?

It seemed to me that:

The lesbian couple loved each other…I’m not saying they are perfect, especially since I only saw a tee-niny bit of the show… but they came across as geniune.

The heterosexual couple is living in denial. Kris has a tight rein on the family, their behaviours and
belief system…she is controlling, and controlling people lead lives of quiet desperation. The very thing they fear rears its ugly head and then, if they are brave, they face the realities confronting them, grow through the pain, and come out
a better person on the other side.

Gosh. There is so much hatred out there. And it all starts with our words, our body language…in the blink of an eye, we can make or break someone’s day….or heart…

posted by Sara Hickman at 06:52 am
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Equal Scary Picture
February 15, 2005

Here’s a photo of me with Ray Mel Cornelius, the wonderful artist who created the cover of ESP (hence the reason we are holding it in the photo…)

posted by Sara Hickman at 08:01 pm
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Shaking with Anger: Wife Swap
February 03, 2005

Last night, I was finishing up some work when I realized Lance was in the Green Room (yes, all our rooms have names corresponding to their colors!) watching TV. He hadn’t been feeling well after being exposed to fiberglass particles (he’s seeming better today)…

I walked in, plopped down and curled up next to him on the sofa, right into the middle of a show called “Wife Swap”.
I’d never seen the show, although I’d seen commercials and heard about it through Lance…so, there I was, watching it.

PROBLEM NUMERO UNO

I came in right as the wives were switching back to their life partners (husband/partner.) Right off the bat, my last sentence should be clueing you into something. Was your first thought:

Wife returns to husband
and
Other woman returns to partner

And, if so, were you, in your mind, picturing the unmarried woman returning to her MALE partner?

Well, that would be understandable. If that was your first thought, that would be quite normal. We live in a world that conditions us to expect only men and women should be couples…However, the second woman (Kristine?) was returning to her FEMALE partner.

I point this out because as the spouses were returning to their loved ones, the heterosexual couple was allowed to embrace and kiss. The lesbian couple, nervously, and joyfully, HUGGED on camera. It was VERY OBVIOUS they had been told NOT TO KISS. I was not suprised, but I was outraged, I tell you.

I could FEEL (empathize) how hard that denial of a kiss was for these two women, these two women who obviously LOVE ONE ANOTHER, to not to be able to do what was natural for them: demonstrate their affection
after a week long seperation (is it a week? I didn’t catch that for sure…just guessing there.)

I find it completely idiotic that ABC would have a lesbian couple on their show AND THEN NOT ALLOW THEM TO BE THEMSELVES. But…like I said, I am not surprised. I can only ASSUME that the true INTENT of ABC was not to expose the general public to a seemingly loving couple, but to create controversy and raise MORE REVENUE through advertising dollars and viewer curiousity.

PART TWO OF MY RANT ABOUT THIS SHOW:

THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE A GOOD SHOW, in theory, BUT SEEMS TO, once again, BE ALL ABOUT SOME CEO’s MAKING RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF MONEY while leaving everyone else in the dirt. (None of the people who agree to do the show are paid for their time, yet people continue to sign up to do these shows. Scratch your head with me here. We might as well be adding all these CEOs to our pay checks and just send the money directly to them because THAT IS WHAT THE AMERICAN PUBLIC IS DOING…which reminds me to rant later about GAMBLING!!!)

LET ME MAKE NOTE HERE for everyone THAT I DID NOT SEE the entire show so, of course, I would like to see the entire show so I can RETURN TO MY BLOG and write even more rantings. Plus, I know…it is inappropriate to rant about something that was witnessed for only a few minutes but IT IS APPROPRIATE to say that I believe I am justified, and, until the HOMELAND SECURITY folks come DRAG ME AWAY, I shall CONTINUE TO WRITE ABOUT THINGS, IDEAS and PEOPLE that are unbelievably ASSININE.

And what about the other couple, you ask?

Oh, Lord. Let me say this…

I need more time. Because right now it is time to make sack lunches and eat breakfast with my children and post my daily writings concerning the “Purpose Driven Life” for my Sunday School class and brush my teeth and go shoot a commercial with Kelly Willis for our Austin Symphony show and also remind anyone reading this blog that I will be performing this :

FRIDAY NIGHT
Flipnotics
Sara with her Super Pal Universe Band (Eddy, Zirkel from ZImbabwe and Sugar Pants (the drummer))
10:30 til whenever

COME LOVE AND DANCE AND GIGGLE AND CELEBRATE Valentine’s with us…because we will take you there!


Ok, so a short synopsis of the other woman (what I gathered in the ten minutes of show I saw):

Her name was Kris
She was a fanatical Christian
She was probably around my age (42?)
She was upset and angry
She was African American (the other woman was Anglo-American…I say that cuz I am tired of “white” and “African American”…if we are going to label people to describe their ethnicity, then lets give all people labels…or just describe their skin tone…which, for example, I am yellow, not white. Except for my face, which is slightly ruddy. So I would be a ruddy-yellow and the women on the show were seashell white and cocoa brown.)
She was married to a skylight matte pearl man

Which reminds me, Kristine, who was seashell white, her partner was more of a baby ear pink, but that might be because she was angry, too (with good reason, by the way).

OK! SO I will write more about what occurred on this show later because YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE IT. Oh, yes, you will. Silly me.

Now go get involved.

Love,
S

posted by Sara Hickman at 11:17 am
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